she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
