No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
