she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
