Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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