Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
