Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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