Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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