he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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