Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
