OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize