Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
