ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Randomize
