I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
