Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
