You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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