she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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