My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
