If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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