South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
