all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
