"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
