Having a random hookup so left but love u
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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