I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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