I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
