I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize