my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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