I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
