Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize