I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
