Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
