i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
