I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
