oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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