At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
