Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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