well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
