Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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