I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
