I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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