Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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