If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
