I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
