did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
