Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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