Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
