Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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