at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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