I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
