Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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