we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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