I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
