you guys were way drunker than both of me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
