Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
