Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
