foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
