I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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