When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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