In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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