Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
