I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
