Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
