3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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