I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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