whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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