you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
