Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Its about making memories worth repressing
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize