That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
