it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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