When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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