I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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