Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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