There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
bring money and cleavage
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
