Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
