Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
